My AHAH moment....

It came last week while on one of my many walks. I had been thinking about my kids alot and ways that I could help them or make their life easier. It really evolved into thinking about what type of relationship I wanted with them. Do I need them to talk to me about everything in their life? Do I need them to turn to me for everything? Do I need them to ALWAYS like me? I thought the answers were all YES but the more I thought about the more I realized it wasn't.
When A.J. left for school I knew I wanted to give him space and not bug him. It was hard when I realized that he didn't need me as much as I wanted him to need me(Dave let me know that's because we raised him right). I know this first semester hasn't been easy on him and, at times, I wasn't sure how he was doing. Erin has been having some difficulty in school this semester and I have had to lay down the law in ways I didn't want to (i.e. take away her car and restrict her USY activities). She would often be in her room doing who knows what and seemed unhappy.
I knew I didn't need my kids to think of me as their best friend and tell me everything BUT I also knew that I didn't want them to HATE me, or worse think I was to blame for their problems. It hurt to think that they may be sad, upset or lonely and feel they had no place to turn.
I went back over conversations, discussions and actions I have taken in the past few months and decided I would change very few things. I decided that I did all the things I needed to do so that my kids knew that I cared about them and cared about their future. I decided its OK if they are mad at me or don't need as much of me as they once did. Its OK if they want to keep to themselves or share their problems with someone other than me. I do know that I have done what I needed to do so they know I love them and will always be here for them--no matter what. When all is said I done I want my children to know I care. And that, without even consciously knowing it, was what I wanted all along.