What was I like?

With A.J. going away to college and Erin acting like a typical 16 year old girl and me having to deal with both of these things I have been trying very hard to remember what I was like at 16, 17, 18 years old. It is frustrating because I cannot. I can remember how I was in years before that (and it wasn't pretty) but not how I was once I was in my late teens. All I can remember was good times. I remember having a great time hanging out with Dave and other friends. I can remember going to school, getting decent grades (I am talking 11th and 12th grade) and going away to college for my freshman year. I remember being happy and loving life. I don't remember any bad times. I don't remember any arguments I had with my folks. I don't remember how I even talked to my parents. I don't remember if I even spoke to them at all after I left for college. I know they didn't come visit me at school but I don't think I even gave it another thought. I don't know if my parents even missed me!!
What I really want to remember was the relationship I had with my parents. I know I didn't tell them everything but I think I was pretty honest with my emotions. In fact, I am pretty sure I am the same way I am now---I wear my emotions on my sleeve. You know what I am feeling, when I am feeling it just by looking at me. I don't think I hide much or have much of a poker face. I am wondering if my kids are the same way. I know they don't tell me everything but I think they tell me lots of things. I am naive or correct? Did I tell my parents just want they wanted to hear? I am afraid that my kids do just that. I don't think that they out and out lie to me but I think that they don't really let me in on what is going on with them.
Is A.J. happy at school or does he think he sold his soul to the devil just to play football? If he thinks he made a mistake will he tell me? Does he know that we are here for him NO MATTER WHAT or does he think that I will judge him too harshly and not understand?
And Erin, is she a happy, well adjusted 16 year old? Does she say one thing to my face and then go in her room and write in a journal about how miserable she is? How can I tell if she is really OK? Am I missing signs?
I try to think about what I was like at that age and if my parents had the same concerns. Maybe they did but just didn't let on. My parents made this parenting stuff look so easy--how did they do that? Were my siblings and I really that good? I doubt that.
When I raise my concerns to Dave he reminds me that we have 2 great kids and we have/are doing the right things and raising good teenagers. He tells me to continue telling them we love them and remind them that we are their biggest fans and are here for them whenever/whatever they need. They will let us know if there is a problem or if they need are help. Right now we have to sit back and let them be their own person.
I guess it doesn't matter what my life was like at that age but rather how I am now. Now I am a mom to 2 wonderful teenagers who make me smile EVERYDAY. I will go forward from here and hope for the best!!

Sad News

After 12 years as a wonderful part of our family Quik has passed away. It was with great sadness today that Erin and Dave took him to the vet to be put to sleep. Despite his snoring and love of chocolate he was a great dog. He loved to be with people and loved for kids to play with him. He will be missed!!

AJ in action...

Here is a home movie of AJ's first play at the Air Force...

What a weekend....

We just got back from PARENTS WEEKEND at AJ's school and I don't even know where to begin. We had a great time and are so proud of both our kids. Dave and I went and Erin stayed home. We left on Thursday afternoon, just 24 hours after Erin got her drivers license. She stayed home alone on Thursday night and then with friends and family for the rest of the weekend. She was great!! She called and checked in lots and did everything she was supposed to do while at home. She is awesome!!

And speaking of awesome let me tell you about AJ. We arrived Thursday evening knowing we would not see AJ until Friday morning. We had arranged to meet him at the Chapel in the early AM. I was very apprehensive. I had been warned that I might not recognize my son--he might look and act quite different. Well let me tell you, those warnings were completely unnecessary. AJ is still the AJ we know and love. He looks great, maybe a little thinner (during basic training he lost 27lbs), and remains his wonderful self.

He does enjoy school but says some days are tough. His freshman year at college is not like freshman year anywhere else. He has many, many rules to follow and many are not fun. He is told what to wear, he has to walk a certain way and address anyone, except fellow freshman, as sir or ma'am. He is limited to what personal items he can have in his room and does not have his cell phone, except for special occasions, or ipod at all. His dorm room is on the 6th floor and he MUST take the stairs. There is an elevator but he is not allowed to use it. On the weekends he may not come and go as he pleases and has no access to television or radio. Even with all the restrictions he is happy. He has made lots of friends and is emerging as a real leader. We attended classes with him on Friday and all his teachers had good things to say about him. He says classes are not too difficult and he is NOT up all night doing homework. He is getting enough to eat and plenty of sleep. What makes it all worth it is football.

As you know he made the varsity and travel team--which where is goals for the year BUT now he has even exceeded that. He made the first string on a few Special Teams and 2nd string on the o-line. On Saturday we attended OPENING DAY, his first game. It was amazing. There were 35K+ in attendance. The stadium is beautiful and there are tailgate parties every where. The boys arrive at the stadium by bus and are greeted by fans and the band. They walk into the stadium amidst music and cheers.

They put on their uniforms and warm up. What a thrill it was for us to see him in a football uniform with his name on the back!!

Just before the game begins there is a "fly over" and parachutes descend on the stadium bringing the game ball. It is sight to see!! This game the Falcons played Southern Utah, a team that hasn't won a game since 2006. As expected the Falcons won 41-7. AJ got in the game quite a few times. In his first collegiate play he admittedly did not do well BUT he came of the field grinning from ear to ear. It was wonderful moment for Dave and I. AJ got in for more extra points and field goals and then in the 4th quarter he got in as offensive lineman for an entire series. He did great!! It made the all the hard work and difficult times worth it.

I am certain now, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that AJ made the right choice and I am pretty sure AJ knows this too. It is actually the right place for him both on and off the football field. AJ is going to become an amazing man/officer in the next 4 years and, I so look forward to seeing this transformation.